The FBI Wants Your Family to Have a Secret Safe Word. Here's How to Pick One

Your phone rings and it's your grandson, crying. He's been arrested, he needs bail money today, and he begs you not to tell his parents. It sounds exactly like him.

It isn't him. That's the grandparent scam, and AI voice cloning has made it a lot harder to spot by ear. In December 2024 the FBI warned that criminals are using generative AI to commit fraud on a larger scale and make their schemes more believable. Its examples include short audio clips of a loved one's voice, used to pose as a close relative in a crisis and ask for money right away or demand a ransom. Among the FBI's tips is a cheap one: create a secret word or phrase with your family to verify their identity.

Voice used to be the proof. You heard your grandson's voice, so it was your grandson. Voice-cloning tools have made it easier to mimic a person's voice, and phone numbers can be spoofed to look like a number you know, so the two things you'd check first can both be faked. In 2023 senior citizens lost roughly $3.4 billion to a range of financial crimes. Not all of that was voice cloning, but the pitch usually sounds the same: something terrible happened, and you're the only one who can fix it right now. Fear is the whole trick. Security executive Chuck Herrin put it bluntly: when people get afraid, "we get stupid and don't exercise the best judgment."

A safe word gives you something to ask for that a cloned voice can't supply. It's a small speed bump built for the moment when panic is doing your thinking.

Picking a word that works

Skip anything someone could look up. Street names, towns, phone numbers and individual names are out, along with your school and anything else that's easy to find online. Security experts favor a phrase of at least four words over a single word, and it should be hard to guess.

The best ones come from the family itself: a line from a long-running joke, a nonsense phrase from a road trip, something nobody ever posted online. Say it out loud when you agree on it, rather than typing it into a group chat where it sits forever. And please don't use "purple pancakes." We just ruined that one.

Then agree on the rule. If anyone asks you for money or help in an emergency, you ask for the word before anything moves, and you let them say it first. That second part matters more than it sounds. Victims in real cases have blurted out the safe word themselves, before the caller said anything, which hands the scammer the very thing it was meant to protect.

If the call fails the test

A caller who can't produce the word, who dodges the question, or who gets angry that you asked has told you something. So has a call with no way to check. Here's what to do, in order:

1. Hang up. You don't owe a polite goodbye to a voice you can't verify.
2. Call the relative back on the number saved in your phone, not a number the caller gave you and not one from caller ID. Write down the details of the story first if you can.
3. If you can't reach them, call another family member or a friend who can.
4. Don't send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you only know from the phone. If you already did, file a report at ic3.gov and include what you can about how the contact started and how you paid.

Hang up, then call back on the number already saved in your phone. Illustration: Tech Cheat Codes

Bringing it up with Mom or Dad

Thanksgiving is a good time, because everyone is already at the table and nobody has to schedule a "serious talk." It's Thursday, Nov. 26 this year.

Don't open with the horror stories. Open with the FBI: it recommends this, so you're passing along advice, not saying anyone is easy to fool. Make it a rule for the whole family, kids and your own spouse included, so it doesn't feel aimed at the oldest person in the room. Let your parent pick the phrase if they want to. People remember what they chose.

Then practice once. Have someone call from the next room and ask for the word. Ten seconds of awkward laughing beats a first run at 2 a.m. with a real scammer on the line.

Want the next fix in plain English? Follow Tech Cheat Codes on Facebook. Tap this link, then tap Follow: Follow Tech Cheat Codes on Facebook

References

• Source: FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center, "Criminals Use Generative Artificial Intelligence to Facilitate Financial Fraud" (PSA I-120324, Dec. 3, 2024)
• Source: CBS News, "AI voice scams are on the rise. Here's how to protect yourself." (updated Dec. 17, 2024)
• Source: FCC, "'Grandparent' Scams Get More Sophisticated"